This month, I've had the opportunity to support a client organization in the successful reception of feedback. It's been an interesting experience, in that both training participants and their leaders have universally rejected feedback from each other and their clients, almost consistently. Working with them to lower their defenses has caused me to reflect upon the feedback that I both give and receive.
Feedback comes to me in many forms, some verbal, some written, and some behavioral. Sometimes I receive it gracefully, othertimes, not so much... As I've reflected, it occurred to me that my successful reception seems to be less dependent on how the feedback is given, and is instead based on my own frame of mind. That realization leaves me thinking about what I can do to ensure that I keep my mind open to feedback more often than not. It seems to me that I must ask myself better questions, consistently. These might include:
Giving feedback well is very much an art form. The people who do it best wait until somebody asks for it and then they set up an ideal time and place. As consultants, coaches and trainers, we are often placed in the role of providing feedback to participants who may or may not want to hear from us. Further, we typically have to provide this feedback in a compressed, and unnatural timeframe. That anybody hears anything we offer is nothing short of miraculous!